I take no credit in the writing of this post other than the first few sentences. I found this on my friends Gmail status and it spoke to my comedic senses, so I thought I would share it with all you other shocked Clemson fans, still trying to grasp how one game can take your body through so many emotions in such a short period of time…. I believe Mr. WildBillfromSissonville (whoever he is) has explained it quite perfectly, so now I am sharing it with you, I agree with 98%… the two remaining percent involve the rally cats, and you know how I feel about the rally cats….. but don’t worry, I struck it from the record so I could become closer to 100% acceptance. If you were at or watched the game and have any experience in Clemson athletics or Clemson Football you will understand this completely, if not, congratulations, here is your day off!
The Ten Stages of Witnessing the Clemson-Wake Forrest Game:
This occurred after the WF punt return for a touchdown to tie up the score at 14-all. I admit I was shocked that we didn’t come out and take control of the game in the 3rd Quarter, but not nearly as shocked that Tiger Band actually played a halftime song I have heard of before.
2. Emotional Release
I can pinpoint this stage to the first WF rushing TD to go up 21-14. After the mystery AE fumble that nobody (even the WF defense) realized was a fumble, I experienced my moment of emotional release by letting the ACC officials know that their mothers were unmarried women at the time of their birth..and that they worked for John Swofford…and John Swofford sucks.
3. Depression, Loneliness, and Utter Isolation
My “no help for me” moment hit after WF scored to go up 28-14. This was the time I realized that, if Clemson lost, our only hopes rested with Maryland defeating Wake. This also coincides with the first time I have actually wished Maryland didn’t fire Ralph Friedgen for Randy Edsall.
4. Physical Symptoms of Distress
Sunburn, Dehydration, Headache…all signs of a Clemson noon game that comes down to the wire. The combination of the above symptoms caused me to pee my pants and forget where I was for a good solid half-hour,
and as a result miss one of my favorite parts of the game…the 4th quarter rally cat dance.
Stage 5 struck when I realized Clemson was gonna go for it on 4th & inches with an offensive line that has spent the past 3-4 years being coached by Brad Scott.
6. Guilt Feelings
At this point the guilt began to set in…no way I was going to be able to find any Wake Forest fans to sell those ACC championship tickets too. That wasted money could have went to a much better use, like feeding the poor, or paying Tommy Bowden’s buyout.
Much like the defense, I decided to take my hostility out on the Wake Forest offense. Only instead of hitting their QB or deflecting passes, I yelled as loud as I humanly could (many times with the Ric Flair “Wooooooo”)…only increasing the effects of Stage 4.
8. Inability to Renew Normal Activities
This is what my heart did after Cat-man missed his first FG in the 4th quarter. This was the point when flashbacks of Auburn 2010 and Maryland 2007 began to creep into my mind.
9. Gradual Overcoming of Grief
After Cat-man redeemed himself with the game winning field goal, the gradual recovering process of Stage 9 could now begin. Little by little my emotional balance could start to return, and I could open my eyes after closing them during the entire last FG.
10. Readjustment to the New Realities
Clemson didn’t lose a close game. Cat-man came through in the clutch. They will make the ACC championship game. This team plays with determination. The ACC refs called a fair and balanced game…well maybe not everything was new.